if I were an npc in skyrim I would never leave my house because there are giant spiders out there. My one line of radiant dialogue would be "I don't leave the house, there's giant spiders out there."
i am! obsessed! with this book from the late ming dynasty about scams to watch out for (esp. if you are a traveling merchant). this guy is like, there ARE immortals who can survive without food but you WILL NOT encounter them because they live alone in the mountains and don't talk to anyone. if a monk comes to your house and claims to not need to eat, it's probably because he's secretly eating human fetuses, or something. eunuchs are invariably corrupt and the court system is useless. however, do NOT try to bribe anyone for a better SAT result for your idiot failson; this never works. nuns WILL try to seduce your wife into cheating on you. if your idiot failson does really badly on the SAT, make sure to have his father's remains buried somewhere with A+ fengshui; this is Guaranteed to work (unless your wife is cheating on you).
oh yeah and ofc there's the classic pretending-a-cow-is-the-reincarnation-of-your-deceased-mother scam. watch out for that one
answers to frequently asked questions:
- the book is "The Book of Swindles" (i'm reading the columbia university press abridged edition)
- its actually not the SAT its the civil service exams but like. same difference
- yes it IS unhinged and you SHOULD read it
RE: talking to conservative parents, I’ve found a good method to de-worming their brains is to not get riled up, just act a little bored and remind them “the news cycle only shows salacious stuff. They want you to be mad and scared because it makes you easier to control. Think about it for a second. Do you REALLY believe everything they have to say?” Or “you can’t believe everything you read or see on the internet. Remember, they earn money every time you click on their video.”
And especially when my dad starts getting huffy about Prices or Artists He Doesn’t Like, I tell him “that’s the beauty of capitalism. they have a product to sell and the freedom of expression if you don’t like it you don’t have to buy it.”
Might not work for everyone but dad’s KRYPTONITE especially is saying “but dad that’s capitalism! You LOVE capitalism!” And he either has to stop complaining or admit capitalism is bad and so far I haven’t lost
its completely unrealistic to believe that baby dirk, fresh off his meteor, was able to both not drown and somhow climb up into his bros old apartment
alpha dave setting up a wile e coyote giant baseball mitt and catapult contraption to catch and fling limp neck dirk to safety IS however completely believable and in character
HUARHDGDBSHSJFJSALGLE
Coelacanth Café in Numazu, Shizuoka. If you even care!